“Top Ten Things I Learned From American Idol” list in descending order.
10. The camera adds ten pounds to your Mohawk.
9. Work hard and make sacrifices, you can finish in 7th place.
8. It’s very important to “Keep it real, dawg.”
7. I should have gone for the immunity idol – oh, wait that’s “Survivor.”
6. On-camera Simon is a bit nasty, but off-camera, he’s a total jerk.
5. Voting for yourself 100 times an hour causes some wicked carpal tunnel.
4. When you forget the words, just do this “wo ho ho, yes he did.”
3. Honestly, I though I was auditioning for “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?”
2. Nothing.
1. American loves performers with bad hair--right, Dave?
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