Auditions: Omaha

Auditions for Idol took us to farm country - Omaha, Nebraska. So, let's see how last night went down.

First up was this girlie guy who's face almost looked like a young Wayne Newton with giant caterpillar eyebrows. First off, pluck those eyebrows. Secondly, get a penis. What the hell was this freak? Any one who claims they are a GUY should NOT be singing GIRL songs. This "person" came out with a shopping bag to give out gifts to the contestants. He also has a crush on Kelly Clarkson and showed some creepy photo album on him and her. This guy should NOT be trying out for American Idol. He looks more fit to be trying out for Project Runway. He sings Kelly's "Since You've Been Gone" and I think ear pieces around the world short circuited after his first note. The judges should have slammed his performance but instead, we'll be stuck seeing him in May on the Finale for this ridiculous deal they gave him to report for FOX. I'm sure the segment will be a joke but I'll be the schmuck who'll have to sit thru it. Wait...I'll just fast forward the segment. Lord Bless DVR !

Next to perform was Jason Rich. He's another one of those country boys from a small town of 500 or less. He has a good look to him but is as dumb as clams. He can't remember his lyrics. Lucky for him that he got his act together to get a few lines in before forgetting more so he gets the pass to Hollywood. If this guy can stop being so nervous and remember his lines, he has a chance at the Top 24 as his voice was good.

Then in came this gigantically tall blonde arm wrestler named Rachel. Up close, I didn't love her look but she was actually not bad looking when they panned the camera back a bit. He voice was a bit too country for me but she did a nice job. I see her choking in the Hollywood Round cause she should be practicing but instead arm wrestling all the boys that want to see if they can take her down.

Next up it was Sarah, this Goth girl who looks like a cross between John Favareau, Rumor Willis, and Elvira. I don't get Goth. Look in the mirror. You look ridiculous. I don't care what statement or message you are trying to portray, again, you look stupid. Take a shower, take out the facial piercings, wear something other than black, die your hair, get a tan, get some style, and stop being so angry at the world. Probably the reason you are so angry is because people look at you funny because of the way you look but if you got over what ever your issue is and cleaned up your act, maybe, just maybe, life would be better. That being said, this girl had ZERO singing talent. Time for her to go back to work at the Dungeon.

Samantha followed the Goth chick. She's cute and with a little style work, could look even better. Ryan even sat in for Paula to judge which was a stupid skit to kill some time but then Paula came back. I liked this girl's voice. I think she needs to be a bit more confident on stage but her voice was smooth and she has a chance to squeak into the Top 24.

Then there was Angelica who has a "strict" daddy. Awwwww. So sad. Despite doing a Celine Dion imitation, she had a nice voice. She was a bit boring too and I can see her getting lost in the mix when the Hollywood Round begins. What she has in her favor is this sad background story that they dedicated a whole segment on so that could mean we could see her in the Top 24 or they wouldn't have wasted all that time on her parents.

Next was my favorite performance of the night - David Cook. Personally, I didn't love his new-wave hair that was part red and party messy. I just don't get that look at all. But, one sentence into Bon Jovi's "Living On A Prayer", I turned to my wife and said, "This guy could be our next American Idol." I loved his voice. I loved his stage presence. Loved his song choice. And damn...he did a great job. Look for him to be in our Top 10 and probably go much further than that.

Following that great performance was Johnny. He comes out in all black with a gold shiny jacket shirt. He looks like a schmuck before he even sung a note. And, he chose one of the most horrible Keroeke songs of all time "Shout". It was so annoying that I contemplated just taking the remote control to fast forward the performance to get thru the rest of the show so I could get to "Biggest Loser" already as it was getting late. Why do the producers even give guys like this the glory of getting aired on television.

The final audition in Omaha went to Leo. He's from an even smaller town. I think he said 200 people. His mom told him that she raised the perfect homecoming queen. So, he's a bit feminine, to say the least. Yeah, he had a nice voice but when I look at him, he looks more like he should be doing stand-up comedy instead of singing. He gets the easy pass to Hollywood but I didn't love the guy.

Well, that was Omaha. Hopefully Idol will NEVER go back to that city. So, until tomorrow night, Birdman Out.