Last night the auditions rolled into Charleston. I had a bad experience 10 years ago in Charleston at a wedding. After waiting 2 hours for dinner at an Italian restaurant, they didn't give us bread at the table. Instead, they gave us a basket of BOILED peanuts. Can you say, "Disgusting !" So, what that being said, my hopes were not too high on the talent for this rotten city. But, here we go...
Raysharde enters the room. First of all, he should drop the "sharde" from his name and just go by "Ray." I think the "sharde" is unnecessary. Anyway, he comes in with a full fro' looking like a young Michael Jackson. I thought this guy was gonna be great but it was far from greatness. The fro gotta go and the voice needs some major tuning up. So, Ray didn't advance to the next round.
In comes DeAnna, the roller-skating waitress. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. She just kept on talking about this all you can eat buffet. Her audition was a bit creepy and loud. She must have been an abused child cause she had so much anger in her. Easy there DeAnna. It's okay that the buffet crowd makes you mad. Maybe she should upgrade her resume and go from buffet to fast food which would be more soothing to her mind.
Then, we get Crystal and Randy who met on an American Idol message board. Yup...this two are LOSERS. He claims to be an idol geek and her personality is as dry as an old sponge. And the worst is that they do a duet. The best is that after their painful audition, Crystal comes to the conclusion that her parents have been lying to her by telling her that she was good which made her go out to audition. I love it. She's gonna go home and have a fight with her parents and her parents deserve to get bitched out. So, to all parents out there: If your kids SUCK at something, please tell them so maybe they can change hobbies before getting this false belief that they have some talent.
Next came an interesting pair - Michelle and Jeffrey Lampkin, a brother and sister combo. They are quite the chubsters and not sure what the necktie around Jeff's head signified. Maybe it should have been around his neck. They did a duet of some R. Kelly / Celine Dion song. I liked their personality but I was not a huge fan of their singing. But, they made it through. I guess personality paved the way but they are not getting past the Hollywood round.
An interesting girl came in next - Amy Catherine Flynn. She's the dance-team captain at her Catholic high school. But, the creepy part is her speech about abstinence. I think she needs to mature a few more years as she is only 16. Maybe take a year of college, get drunk, get the hot beef injection, and they try out again. I think a few years on her will help as she was cute and had a nice voice but I'm not sure it was strong enough to make the Top 24.
To end day one was London Weidberg. First of all, the name is catchy. It's a name you won't forget. She was a blonde like many other singers and had a nice voice but what will stand her out from other blondes is her name - London. I'm not going to put her in the Top 24 but she's on the bubble.
The second day started with Lyndsey Goodman who flies this gigantic airplane in the Air Force. I thought she was going to come in and rock the house. She had a nice smooth voice but it bordered on boring. So, she's not going forward. Instead, she's going to Afghanistan.
Then there was Aretha who was named after Aretha Franklin. So, maybe this girl was going to be good. She chooses to sing Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing" and we found out that she does indeed have nothing in terms of a good singing voice. Plus, her outfit was not good either. It was this giant light blue dress with a giant belt making her jugs look enormous. She looked like a creepy black tall Smurf. She was shocked when she didn't advance and was a sore loser about it. Oh well...too bad. Try again next year Aretha.
Then, Joshua comes in wearing red pants, a black shirt, and a hideous tie. This guy has not talent and probably just auditioned just to get on TV. If that was his goal, then congrats Josh...YOU DID IT. Way to go !
Finally, there was Oliver who had left the day before as his wife was having a baby. He sung OK but if you compare him to a Jon Peter Lewis, Oliver wasn't even at that level so he's booted. But, at least he has a new baby girl in his life. Mazel Tov Ollie !
And that was it for Charleston. It was definitely not the best city of auditions. I don't believe ANY of Charleston from what we saw makes the Top 24.
So, that being said...Birdman Out.
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