Let Season 7 Begin...

Hello readers. What an interesting year it has been. Taylor Hicks, Ruben Studdard, and Katharine McPhee have been dropped by their record label. Chris Daughtry and Carrie Underwood continue to dominate the music award shows. Jessica Sierra continues to go back and forth between rehab and jail. Kelly Clarkson has been added to Mr. Blackwell's Annual Worst Dressed List. Paula Abdul continues to deny any drug problem but continues to have nervous breakdowns. Clay Aiken joins the cast of Spamalot. Jennifer Hudson wins an Oscar. Fantasia pregnancy rumors persist. Kellie Pickler's FOX pilot gets canned. Katharine McPhee gets engaged. People actually purchase the Bucky Covington CD. And it all doesn't matter that no one really purchased Jordin Sparks' and Blake Lewis' albums. Why? Because vacation time is over and it's time to talk IDOL once again.

Who will be this years winner? Of the most successful Idols, only 2 winners are really thriving - Kelly Clarkson (despite her poor 3rd CD) and Carrie Underwood. However, 2nd place Clay Aiken is still selling, 4th place Chris Daughtry was the #1 selling CD of the year, and Jennifer Hudson is lining up her next theatrical project. I was actually wrong on Fantasia as I believed she was going to close down "The Color Purple" but I'm glad she finally left the show. I wish her nothing but a happy stint of unemployment. But, what happened to some of the other clowns. Remember when Justin Guarini was a household name? And can you even believe that Diana DeGarmo was a 2nd place finisher. I have to say that Bo Bice's album sold well as a runner-up. Katharine McPhee had a decent album but not many purchased it.

But last season was a joke. It started with Antonella and then went to Sanjaya and week after week, there was no consistency in anyone. How many of the Top 10 can you even name? I had to even think about what the beat-boxer's name was. Last season was disappointing but I had to tune in to make fun of the talent. I'm hoping this year's crop is better. So, let's kick it off...

Well....auditions started in Philadelphia and I already have a few favorites and there were a few train wrecks.

I actually liked the first guy up - Joey C - the guy who lost like 200 pounds. He has a good voice and has an outside chance of making the Top 24 but I'm not putting him there yet.

What was up with Yuka, the guy from Ethopia or Egypt? He was horrible. But, he did have the line of the night saying "I want to get to know a girl from hair to nipple." Not quite sure what the heck he was trying to say but how can you not like a guy who wants to know a girl from hair to nipple. The only thing this guy has going against him is his lack of English, his big nose, his buck teeth, his balding hair, and his lack of any musical talent. Besides that...loved the guy !

Then, in came James Lewis. He sung in this deep voice and had issues pronouncing his words. It was almost like he was singing while drowning in a pool of freezing water. The scary thing is that this guy is a tour guide meaning he has to use his voice to do his job. I think he'd be better off being a stock boy in Best Buy where he doesn't have to be seen or talk to anyone.

Another standout was Temptress Brown, the 16 year old football player. This girl was enormous. But, when we saw her 500 lb mom, she actually looked thin. This girl is a football player and I can totally see her tackling men. She butchered the Jennifer Hudson song from "Dreamgirls" and it made sense why the judges weren't too mean on her as she's probably tackle them.

One of the 2 weirdest auditions of the night came from Alexis Cohen. I can't even explain what this girl is. She's this Leif Garret, 70's looking, rocker, mental patient, covered in weird make-up. Some angles, I wasn't sure if she was a he or a she. I can't even remember what she was singing but it was quite painful. I can't believe how much air time that the producers gave her. She was on the screen for at least 10 minutes and it was the most annoying 10 minutes of the night. Cowell even said she looked like Willem DeFoe which is right on the money.

The final audition of Day has a strong chance to make the Top 12. She is Angela Martin. She has a cute look to her and seems to have her head on straight now that she is a mother after having a baby during her senior year of high school. Now, the baby has Cerebral Palsy so this is one person you have to root for. I liked what I saw and she will go far. This is one name to remember - Angela Martin - my first pick for the Top 12.

The next day started which a horrible performance by Alyse Wojiechowski. Before I even heard her sing a note, she had no chance. Are you gonna run out and buy the Alyse Wojiechowski album? Her last name has got to go. Plus, she can't sing so I guess we don't have to worry about purchasing her CD anytime during our lifetime.

Another irritating part of the night went to this 39 year old guy Milo singing a song called "No Sex Allowed." He comes in with this weird leopard vest and pedofile mustache. Based on age and appearance, they shouldn't have even given him any air time which was exactly what he set out to do.

My second pick for the Top 12 goes to Kristy Lee Cook. She has a great look to her and has some good pipes. I didn't like her song choice of "Amazing Grace" but this girl can sing and will go far as long as she picks better songs. Again, remember this name - Kristy Lee Cook.

There was this embarrassing guy Ben who comes in wearing a black cape and then when he takes it off, he's in the Princess Leia bikini from "Return Of The Jedi" and you see all his chest hair and ass fat hanging out. It was quite nauseating and I thought I was gonna hurl my dinner when they showed his stuff giggle as he walked out to get a waxing before coming back to sing a note before then getting booted. This is another example of a guy doing a stunt just to get on television.

Another one of my favorites was Chris Watson. He has a unique look. He's a good looking guy with dreadlocks and dressed well. I hated the song he sung. It's some Uncle Kracker song which I've never heard before but he can sing and girls will dig his stuff. I'm not slotting him into the Top 12 but he has a good chance of making the Top 24. He can be this year's Anwar Robinson.

Oh, and then there was Christina. This was the creepiest performance of the night. She comes out with her Princess Leis bun hair cut, has this Star Wars belt, and those black netted stockings. Right away, you knew it was gonna be painful. She looks like a cross between Jorja Fox, an ugly Jennifer Garner, and my 6th grade male math teacher. Did this girl really think she had a chance? I didn't feel bad for her at all. As a parent, wouldn't you just want to tell your kid that they can't sing despite how hard that would be instead of embarrassing yourself in front of 33.5 million people on television?

Finally, the Philadelphia auditions ended with Brooke White. She had a nice voice and a nice look but this chick has NEVER seen a rated R movie. Imagine in the Hollywood round if she hears someone say the "F" word? She'll be stained for life and may have to confessional to clense herself from hearing such vulgarity. I liked what I saw but her future is doomed unless she loosens up a bit.

So, that was Night #1. The fun has begun. So far, it's all about Angela Martin, Kristy Lee Cook, and Chris Watson. A lot can change between now and the Top 24 so let's enjoy the ride.

Birdman Out.