Idol now moved on to Kansas City, hometown of last year's winner, David Cook. The odds of the winner coming from the same city two years in a row are as likely as the Jets even winning the Super Bowl. Still, let's see how it went down.
First up is Chelsea Marquardt. When she first came out, I thought she was a pretty blonde and was going to do great. Well, I guess that is why there's that old saying that you can't judge a book by its cover. She was painful. It was almost like hearing someone take a scissor and scratch it against a chalk board. She sounded a bit like a dying sheep.
Following that nightmare was Ashley Anderson who was auditioning with a Leona Lewis song which Simon Cowell was a writer for. Smart choice if she could pull it off. However this dope botched one of the first lyrics saying "footsteps" instead of "footprints". I guess it wasn't a smart song choice. However, she did managed to pull it together.
Then there was Casey Carlson.. He's a bubble tea maker. Yup...you heard me...bubble tea. Anyone ever hear of that before? She's a pretty, bubbly girl so I had high expectations based on initial appearance. She sings that Vanessa Carlton song, "A Thousand Miles." She had a decent voice but it didn't blow me away. She made it to Hollywood but will need to step it up a bit if she wants to make the top 36. Maybe she should get the judges drunk on bubble tea.
Brian Hetter was up next. He was that big guy with the beard, the Fonzie jacket, and the leotards under it. It was a bit too ballet goes goth for me. He's trained in opera so maybe he would be able to belt out something good. He attempts Aretha Franklin's "Think" and he should have thought about it before embarrassing himself. It was as if I was listening to a weird Elvis in a bad Vegas show. Then, he attempted Josh Groban and that turned out to be worse that Aretha. I think he needs career counseling.
Here was Von Smith coming out in his pimp hat. He has a weird song choice of "Over The Rainbow" which most guys would never attempt. I thought it started off a bit weak and then he kicked it up a notch. He made it to Hollywood but he should ditch the stupid hat.
Now came the most interesting part of the night, Jason Castro's brother, Michael. Jason was the pot smoking, laid back, dread locked dude last year. His brother is a complete 180. He's got short pink punk hair, much more feminine, and can actually sing. He's a bit too in the 80's looking like a backup singer with Flock of Seagulls but I actually liked it in a weird kind of way. He just started singing about a year ago and is much better than his brother could ever imagine.
Vaughn English was next and he came out in yellow and with a banana and sung a song about bananas. Not sure what the banana fetish was but I wouldn't want to be around him with a frozen banana.
Next up was Matt Breitzke who looked like a prison convict. He's actually a welder and definitely surprised me with his voice. He was smooth and edgy and could be one of the rockers to reckon with this season unless this audition was a fluke. But, I really liked this guy from the first note of "Ain't No Sunshine."
Following was Jasmine Joseph who does a rendition of "Over The Rainbow." She had this weird hat with skulls on it. She definitely lacked fashion, that's for sure. She was just scary with her red and blue hair...she looked like an army soldier with a flag on her head. He voice, well, if my feces could sing, Jasmine would lose out.
Then it was Jessica Paige Furney's turn to wow the judges. Right when they showed the cameras in her hometown, she was a shoe-in. She lives with her 93 year old granny. She sung Joplin's "Cry Baby" and nailed it. She was one of my favorite girls of the night.
But then it got a bit bizarre with Asia and India auditioning together. They came out with a horrific rap song together and JayZ must have been barfing if he had been listening. They then auditioned separate with Asia, the obese one, having as much talent as I to in my pinky toe. But, India actually did a good job. When they left the auditions, they were greeted by their family - China, Europe, and Zimbawbe.
Next up is Jamar Rogers a bartender, who sung "California Dreamin'" and made it his own. The problem I had with him is that I thought he looked a bit like Derek Jeter so watching Jeter sing songs came off as a bit weird for me but I liked this guy.
However, his best friend, Danny Gokey, stole the show. Right when they said he had lost his wife four weeks ago, I was praying that this guy could sing. Right when he belted "I Heard It Through The Grapevine", that was it. He was the best person we've heard so far this season. I'm not calling him the winner yet; but this guy, if he can hold his emotions together could easily make the TOP 5 if not win it all. Yup...he's really that good. Plus, he got the sympathy vote as well.
Then came Anoop Desai who was the second person to sing "Thank You" by Boyz II men. What stood out right away was his giant eyebrows which looked like two fuzzy caterpillars above his eyes but that didn't matter, those could always be thinned. Indians have not done well in the American Idol competition but this guy could be the first to make the Top 12 if the chips fall right.
After Andrew Lang and his cheerleaders failed miserably, out came Asa Barnes, the band director from Kansas City. He was definitely that Brandon Rogers from last season who squeaked into the Top 12. He sung a decent version of Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel" I think Asa has talent but it could be tough for him to go into the Top 36 but he's on the bubble.
But things got quickly creepy when Michael Nicewonder came out. He looked like a stunt double for Jim Carey in "Dumb & Dumber." He won a medal for best vocals in elementary school music class. Wow...now that's an accomplishment. It turns out that he's related to Hank Williams Jr. If that's not true, Hank should immediately file a lawsuit. This dude looks like a slightly mental child molester that works in the stock room of a post office. I can't even remember what he sung but it wasn't pleasant.
Then came Dennis Brigham. He's a bit too perky for me with his backflips and bad dancing whole doing a Chris Brown song. The entire song was sun out his nostrils. I almost wished he had a cold as that would have at least been a good excuse for his lack of vocal skills.
Up next was Mia Conley, another local. She destroyed whatever song she was singing. She looked a bit like Trenyce' on acid. Maybe we'll see her again...on the blooper reel.
Finally, the show ended with Lil Rounds. She has an interesting name but a great voice. Randy compared her to Fantasia but this girl is a combination of Tamayra, Latoya, Vonzell and Jordan (Sparks). Look for Idol to fix up her image and glide into the Top 12. She could wind up being the strongest female in the competition.
So, that was Kansas City. My favorites were Matt Breitzke, Jessica Paige Furney, Danny Gokey, Asa Barnes, and Lil Rounds.
See ya next week.
Birdman Out.
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