Well, they saved the most boring show for last. First of all, 9 people from Puerto Rico made it and 26 from New York. Isn't New York the capitol of the world? Why did New York have to share half of the time with Puerto Rico? Of the 26 people from New York that made it, they showed us maybe three or four worthy of Hollywood. So, here is now the final audition night (back and fourth between NY and PR) went :
First up is Adeola who has a terrible accent and quit her job to audition. Obviously, even before she sang, this was a huge mistake. She totally botches a Jennifer Hudson song and the rest of the her screen time seemed staged to have Simon call up her boss, get him on the phone, and ask them to give Adeola her job back. Come on...this was all set up by the producers. It wasn't believable for a second.
Down in San Juan was Jorge Nunez, I wasn't really sure what he was telling us as he had a tough accent. She sings some Spanish song and he has a great smooth and powerful voice. Then, she sings "What A Wonderful World" in English and nailed it. Idol hasn't had a good Latino on its show since AJ Helton and he wasn't even that good. So, good for Jorge !
Then came Jessika Baier how has won over 700 singing contests plus, was voted "World's Most Beautiful Baby". When they showed her baby picture, there must have only been one or two other people in that baby competition as she wasn't even a cute baby. So, Jessika, who flew to Puerto Rico from Michigan, sings Celine Dion and it was destructive to my eardrum. How did she win 700 contests unless she was in trashy county fairs against people with no teeth up. Or, she sang for contests sponsored by the hearing impaired. Hey....I can even win a singing contest if I flew to Wyoming and entered a singing contest at the local YMCA and I'm tone deaf. She claims she was nervous after the judges destroyed her dreams. It actually brought me much joy to see this chick cry. Hopefully she was able to enjoy the rest of her stay in Puerto Rico.
Next up is Melinda Camille who loves to dance naked and wants to be in a nudist colony. Uh, okay...whatever floats her boat. She actually was a terrible dancer but had a great personality. She just needs to massage her gums a bit as they were a bit overwhelming when she smiled. Anyway, she sang "Feeling Good" and it was actually good, a bit like Vonzell Solomon (one of my favorites). And if her music career fails, she could always strip for Hustler magazine.
Jackie Tohn was next to show what she got. She sings a Jason Mraz song so I knew it was going to be annoying as all Jason Mraz songs are. And I was right...it was indeed annoying. It was like Melissa Ethridge was doing Mraz but worse. Her voice was very scratchy as if she would smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day. This girl really bothered me but she did something right as the judges gave her a trip to Hollywood. However, I don't see her advancing past that, knock on wood.
The most annoying audition then went to Joel Contreras who came out in a cardboard cutout of a giant iPod. So, right off the bat, you knew this wasn't going to be good and he was doing anything possible to get TV time. And it worked...they showed him on TV. But, as for his singing, it was truly three minutes of my life that I'll never be able to get back.
Nick Mitchell or Norman Gentle was next. This guy was a total loser and trying to be funny as well and it also annoyed the hell out of me. The guy had NO talent and a terrible voice and since he made them laugh, they gave him a pass to Hollywood. He'll be part of the first cut on Tuesday as he really sucks.
Monique Garcia Torres comes in and brings along her kid brother as her good luck charm. She first sings "You Can't Hurry Love" by the Supremes and then they let her sing "I Turn To You" by Christina Aguilara. She had an average voice at best but I guess it worked out to bring her brother as they didn't want to break her heart in front of him so she got the Hollywood ticket.
The most irritating person of last season was now back - Alexis Cohen. She was that crazy rocker, white trash chick from last year that gave the judges the finger. She's disgusting and she tried her best to make her as pretty as possible this year but looked just as disgusting but in a different way. It wouldn't matter what she sang as she had no talent but she chose "Like A Prayer" which is basically her odds to advanced. Of course she didn't get the golden ticket and followed it up with her patented fingers at the judges. Let's hope we don't see her again next year.
Finally, we were down to the last auditioner, Patricia Roman who looks a bit like a Puerto Rican Leona Lewis. So, you'd figure the last person we saw would be really good. NOPE ! She chose Whitney Houston. Haven't people learned NOT to touch a Whitney song? Basically, enough said.
So, Hollywood week starts next week. We've seen a lot of garbage so it may not be that hard to determine the Top 36 so I'm gonna take a stab at it: Actually, I'm only able to come up with 15 girls and 15 guys which is 30 so maybe there are three of each gender we really didn't get to see.
So, I now present 30 of the Top 36 (in no particular order)
GIRLS:
Emily Hughes
Stevie Wright
Deanna Brown
Jessica Paige Furney
Asa Barnes
Lil Rounds
Joanna Pacitti
Alexis Grace
Sharon Wilbur
Jasmine Murray
Anne Marie Boskovich
Frankie Jordan
Megan Corkey
Taylor Vaifuana
Rose Flack
BOYS:
Michael Sarver
Cody Sheldon
Alex Wagner-Trugman
Scott MacEntyre
Matt Breitzke
Danny Gokey
Adam Lambert
Kai Kalama
Brent Keith
Matt Giraud
Joshua Ulloa
TK Hash
David Osmond
Austin Sisnieros
Jorge Nunez
Until Hollywood Week...Birdman Out.
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