I'm so glad the auditions are almost over as it's getting boring. So boring that they had to bring back Posh Spice to bore me even more. Well, here's how Denver played out:
First up was an interesting looking character in Mark Labriola who the judges think looks like Jack Black. I think he looks more like this smelly kid who works in the office next door who always stinks up the men's room but not many people would even know what I'm talking about. Anyway, This guy's got a story. He's his mother's sister's bastard child who moved in with is father only to be on the run from his mother from Hawaii but moved south and got married and had a kid or some crazy story like that. I'm sure I got it wrong but it's like the telephone game. I hear one thing. It becomes something else. Tomorrow, the story will change again. Anyway, no one thought this guy was serious but the funny thing was that he can sing. He sang "Tempted" and did a solid job. He isn't the best but his personality and crazy story could get him to the cusp of the Top 24 where he'll probably just fall short.
Then, we get a bad audition in Mario Galvan, the guy with the nervous laugh and the giant scar on his head that was never mentioned. He looked like a Philipino Frankenstein. Anyway, his rendition of "Jailhouse Rock" would have caused a riot on Riker's Island. Just pathetic.
Kimberly Kerbow was up next. She also has a kid. Is it a prerequisite to have a kid and be young to get a chance to be in front of the judges? Anyway, no clue what song she sang. She has a cute voice but I wish it was stronger as she does have a nice look to her. They also claimed she was wearing a wig. I didn't think she was wearing a wig; she just had a bad hairdo. She'll never make it to the Top 24.
Then, it was up to Danelle Hayes, the emotional girl who hosts karoke and writes her own songs. I liked girl's look and personality but she sang a song I loathe in "I'm The Only One" which every "rocker" girl seems to use. I'd love for her to make the Top 24 but can she overcome her emotions and do something more than rocker songs? I had to sit thru Allison Irritating last year and then Amanda Overymeyer the year before. I'm not sure my ears can handle another rocker chick like this but I did like this one more than the two girls I just mentioned.
Casey James was up next. He was the one that survived a motorcycle accident years ago. He looks like a cross between Jason Lewis of Sex In The City and Bucky Covington but didn't have that southern sound of marbles in his mouth. He did some country song and then they make him take his shirt off. Okay...girls are gonna love this guy. I actually thought he did a great job with his audition. I'd stick him in the Top 24 for sure.
Then, we get a youngster in Tori Kelly who brought a bunch of kids with her. She looked so much older than 16 but okay. She sings John Mayer's "Gravity" and did a good job. I agree with Simon that her voice could be a bit annoying so I'm sure she'll fail when paired up against others in Hollywood.
Austin Paul, the football player, was up next. This guy loved himself and had a weird voice. How could he be a football player? He's a total dork; not a jock. He sings a song called "Bigger Than My Body" and I hated it. It just didn't work for me and the judges were turned off as well. So, he's not gonna be a tootball player or a singer. It's time to go back to college and make an appointment with your career counselor to come up with a new path to take before graduation.
Then, there's Kenny Everett who sings a Mary J. Blige song. NO. STOP. PLEASE ! Come on. If you are a DUDE. DON'T sing a song of a chick. it's creepy !
We then get to meet Nicci Nix. No, not Nikki Six. Nicci Nix. Sounds like a porn start to me. She's the chick from Italy. I couldn't stand this girl. She totally annoyed me. Not sure if it was her look or her squeaky voice. She sang decently but she's gonna fail. I think the judges just wanted her to build up frequent flyer miles going back to Italy and then coming back to the US. She's going nowhere.
Finally, it's time for the final contestant in Haeley Vaughn, who was born premature and called the "Miracle Child." She wants to be the first black pop.country singer. Huh. A black singing country is like an Indian singing heavy metal. It just doesn't work. However, haley does sing the song well despite her lisp. I guess if she can pull it off, she can garner the votes of the southern country fool, the midwestern hick, and the R&B black vote. So, maybe, even though she could be my Paris Bennet this year as the girl I don't like, she could do some damage in the Top 24.
I guess we then had some dude in a bikini but that was all set up from the producers so I won't waste my time typing anymore on that.
So we are down to one more night of stuff they didn't show us. I guess the best from this night was Casey James, Haeley Vaugn, and I'm gonna stick Mark Labriola in there.
See ya tomorrow night for the final night of auditions. Birdman Out.
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