Season 9: Chicago Auditions

Well, the auditions took us to Chicago with Shania Twain as the guest judge and here's how it played out:

First up was Katelyn Epperly with her bushy hair. She's actually a cute girl and if they fix up her hair and get rid of that pencil dot between her eyebrows, they'll make her look good when she makes the Top 24 for sure. She sings a absolutely awful song in Duffy's "Syrup and Honey" but does a great job singing such garbage. But, she has the look and personality to lure in callers so look for her to stay around for a bit.

Up next was Amy Lang who was trying to hard to be funny like last year's Normal Gentle but it wasn't working. She wasn't that funny and was trying way to hard whether is was being hyper or faking a faint before getting up to sing "Dr. Feelgood." It all wasn't working. Not sure what she was doing either with her giant boobs but that didn't turn me on either. The sad part was that despite how annoying she was, if she didn't try and put on an act, she didn't have a terrible voice. But, she's a goner. She claims she was just trying to stand out. She did stand out - as a LOSER.

We then get to meet Charity Vance. First of all, I can't stand the name "Charity." "Charity" is a WORD; it's not a NAME. Anyway, she sings "Summertime" which someone has to attempt each year since it worked for Fantasia back in Season 3 despite how much I hated her performance. The thing is that Charity has a nice voice. It's the voice that will get her through a round or two of Hollywood but she'll fall a bit short of the Top 24. I wish her voice was a bit stronger but maybe it was charity from the judges that she got the golden ticket.

And now we get to see Angela Martin...again, for the third straight season. She's the one who we saw back in Season 7 when some hospital had to take care of her daughters when she was just 21. Then, last year she made it to the Top 50 but then had to drop out because of a court date for a moving violation. So, does she get further this year? She sings Mary J. Blige's "Just Fine" and did a fine job. She was an easy choice to go to Hollywood. Now, reading a headline on the internet about Angela Martin, her mother supposedly disappeared on Christmas this past year and she has not been seen since. So, I wonder if Angela will have to drop out early again while searching for her mother. Based on that, I guess we'll see her for a 4th time next year.

The first person I can remember from Day #2 is Brian Krause who looks a bit like Benny from L.A. Law (if you are old enough to even remember that show.) He seems a bit off and was probably dropped on the head a few times as a child. I still can't decide if he's really a disaster or if he was faking the entire thing to get on TV. He sings a Tiny Tim song which sort of shows that it's a bit of a joke and the fact that when he was singing Tiny Tim that he looked a bit like Tiny Tim was bizarre as well. I think it was all an act but the fact that he kept a straight face throughout the entire audition was quite impressive. I'm sure he'll be back at his job flipping burgers before ya know it.

And what was up with Harold Davis singing that Usher song? Come on Harold, you are melting the wax in my ears !

There was then this girl named Chantelle Graczkowski who no matter what would never make it based on her name. Didn't help much either that she can't sing.

Then we get to see John Park who is shooting to become the first Asian guy to make it to the Top 12. He sings Donny Hathaway's "More Than You'll Ever Know" and does a solid job. He has a unique look and a smoothe voice so I can see this guy having a chance to make the Top 24.

The last real person of the night was Paige Dechausse who has the asthma back story. The backstory always helps especially when her parents said they thought Paige was gonna die. So, she gets some sympathy points for that. Paige sings "A Change Is Gonna Come" and does a good job. She loves herself a bit too much which could turn off the voters and the judges. I see her going to the final round in Hollywood and then could be on the bubble.

So, that was the night. Locks for the Top 24 are: Katelyn Epperly and John Park. On the bubble for the Top 24 are: Charity Vance, Paige Dechausse, and Angela Martin.

That's it. not the best night but we'll catch ya tomorrow. Birdman Out.