A few years back, American Idol did Gloria Estefan night where the contestants sung Latino music. That was one of the worst nights in Idol history. Well, that all changed last night with Jennifer Lopez's Latino night. Why don't the producers understand that to sing Latino music, you MUST be Latino. It's sort of like when they have Country night, it's not fair to the black singers. Last night wasn't fair to ANY of the singers. Here's how last nights crap fest went down:
Melinda was up first singing "Sway." What was weird was that her hair and dress made her look about 45 years old, but, it somehow made her look a bit stretched out and not as scrunched up. The dwarfism didn't bother me as much whatever the stylists did to her. Her singing was good. She did a good job based on this category. The performance was far from sexy and was nothing to write home about but it was a solid performance. Don't get me wrong...I will NOT be buying a Doolittle CD one day.
LaKisha followed with "Conga." The second I heard the song choice, I let out an, "Oye Vey." First of all, the outfit. She was wearing this red dress with these zebra-like stripes which revealed her gymongous (not sure if that is a word but I'm using it anyway), bodaceous tah-tas ! They look like these brown helium balloons that if they weren't tucked into her dress, they would just float away. Men who did that full-figured look had plenty of visuals for their self-pleasuring that evening. Anyway, I'm getting off track. As soon as Lakisha completed her song, I declared her to be in the bottom 3. I thought it was the wrong song choice and it was sung horribly. I thought it was out of tune and parts of it sounded like she was out of breath. I know she has a better voice than what came out of her mouth last night. Maybe it has to do with the Latino music but WOW...it was bad.
Following LaKisha was Chris singing Santana's "Smooth." This performance was far from smooth. It was actually quite rough to listen to and watch as well. First of all, what was with is outfit. It was a bit Michael Jacksonesque with his shirt and jacket. As for the performance, he can't dance. He does this twitch with his head when he sings which drives me bananas. Go to a chiropractor if you have next issues but please stop doing that. And his arms and hands, it's like this slow motion R&B sway which just looks completely awkward. As for the singing, this is where I apologized to LaKisha as this was even more painful than her performance. This guy is the most overrated singer left in the competition. He's not suited for big time. This was really a high school talent show performance.
Hitting the stage next was Haley who made a huge mistake singing "Turn The Beat Around." I remember Diana Degarmo doing this bad in Season 3 but this made Diana's performance sound like a Grammy performance. Haley needed to turn the beat OFF. Bad song choice and it was sung horribly. This song you need to have a strong voice and be able to sing the lyrics fast in certain points. She failed at both. But, you do have to applaud the legs. Simon finally said something which I've been saying about the outfits getting skimpier and skimpier. Hey, if you can't sing it, flaunt it ! What's weird is that for Lakisha's performance, I'm staring at these enormous jugs and for this performance, it's about legs. But this isn't a body parts contest; it's about singing which was bad.
Following this terrible performance was Phil singing "Maria Maria." Phil, Phil, Phil. What the hell was coming out of your mouth. He sang the song like there were marbles in his mouth. The best part of his performance was when it was over. He voice was all over the place and the entire song was out of tune. Again, singing Latino music didn't help but he's really not that good anyway. How could this guy be in the Top 8 when Sabrina Sloan is still at home watching. A poor job by the judges putting some of these people in the competition this season. He needs to disqualify himself and go back to the Navy.
Now comes Jordin Sparks singing "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You." This was a good song choice because the song almost sounds a bit more R&B than it does Latino. She looked good and sung the song nicely. It was definitely the best performance of the bad night but I still wanted it to be a bit better. I like her so I'm not gonna blast her at all. Based on looks, personality, stage presence, and voice, she should win the whole thing. But, as we know, the best doesn't always win.
And now comes Blake kissing Jennifer's ass singing her husband's song "I Need To Know." Blake is a good performer. I'll give him that. But the performance last night was nothing to remember. He really didn't move much. It was almost as if he was too tired to show off his dance skills while singing. As for his voice, which I don't love, actually sounded decent last night. It was the perfect song choice for him. Hey...he did a good job. But, whoop-dee-doo !
Ouch....they saved Sanjaya for last which "last" mostly means the best performance of the night. What was weird was that they made this indian boy almost look like a Latino artist. Great job by the stylist. He sang a song called "Besame Mucho" which was sung all in Spanish. I don't like his voice at all and it's so creepy looking at him but it was not his worst vocals. It could have been the most boring song in 6 seasons especially since it was sung in another language but for Sanjaya, it was probably is best vocals even though it still stank, if that makes any sense. Pathetically, he's safe for another week.
So, who goes home? Who's the bottom 3. It's almost hard to choose. I'm gonna go with Phil, Haley, and Chris. And LaKisha could be on the bubble as well with her performance. Still, I'm rooting for Chris to go home but it's most likely going to be Phil or Haley. I'll say Phil goes home. Personally, they could all go home for all I care. Birdman Out.
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