Thursday, February 1, 2007

Season 6: Birmingham Auditions Re-Cap


Chris Sligh

Well, American Idol was back at it again last night brining us auditions from Birmingham, Alabama, the same place that found us Bo, Ruben, and Taylor. So, will we strike it rich this time in the deep south?

First up is a girl named Erica who will try and become a dentist if singing doesn't work out. Well honey, it's time to send out those applications to dental school. I can't stand all of these people singing "Unchained Melody." Yeah yeah yeah...we know it WAS Simon's favorite song but the way people keep on butchering it, I'm sure it is not his favorite song any more.

Then, how bout Katie. She was sort of cute and had a decent singing voice but what the hell was up with her talking voice? Her voice was so bizarre, almost like a nasal cartoon character. Good for her that she made it to Hollywood but her stint out there will be short lived.

But, my favorite of the night was Chris Sligh. He looked like a cross between Jack Osbourne and Carrot Top. But, the boy had pipes singing "Kiss From A Rose." Plus, he had a good sense of humor especially when he talked about wanting to make Hasselhoff cry. Love this guy. He's a shoe-in for the Top 12 cause he has that different look and sound that people like. And wait until they give this guy a makeover. I'm sure he'll look totally different. This guy has potential to go deep. Can you imagine if he is in a group in Hollywood on stage with that guy Sundance Head? Move over Hall & Oates, it's now Sligh & Head time !

Another solid singer was Tatiana. I can't remember what she sang. She slightly irritated me ala Paris Bennett but I won't fully hate her yet until I get to know her better. And Bernard was really good singing "Rock With You". What kind of drugs was Paula on telling this guy "no" but he made it with "yes" from the other two judges. This guy had a good look and girls will like him. I think he has a shot at the Top 24 but not convinced if he can go much deeper than that yet. Only time will tell.

And Holy crap...what was up with that large chick in that pink mesh top with a black tank top under it and this gigantic belly. It almost looked like her top was damp with the black under the pink. And she was also wearing a Michael Jackson glove. Before she sang, the judges should have told her to "Beat It." She butchers some Whitney Houston song. This girl should be performing at the freak show of a circus.

And I have another "holy crap"...how about Margaret. She came out dressed looking like Big Bird in this yellow feathered smock-dress-outfit capelike disaster of a garment. I'd love to hear what Joan Rivers would say about the outfit this lady picked out. Austin Scarlett of Project Runway couldn't even have created something so hideous. Plus, she looked like she was about 65 years old. I'm not sure if this was a true performance or just a stunt by the Idol producers to let her sing since it was so "out-there."

And day one ended with Jamie Lynn wearing a shirt that stated she was a blue-eyed bombshell. Okay...gotta love the self-confidence. This girl had a backstory that would blow away even the writers of "Days Of Our Lives." There was cheating, a shooting, a paralyzed dad, etc... He singing was ehhhhh. It wasn't the worse and was far from the best but I had no problem that she got the pass to Hollywood. I think it could have been a sympathy pass but whatever.

The second day started a bit weird but at least we didn't have to deal with Paula. This chick Victoria came out with Crystal Gayle like hair. He has NEVER cut her hair and her mom hasn't cut her hair in years. Now, I have to ask, "Why???" Do you think this as attractive? Are you doing it to save money at the salon? Do you think a guy is EVER gonna want to sleep with you with that hair? When she walks, it's almost like she is a walking Swifter as her hair drags on the floor picking up all the dust particles. She totally killed a Josh Groban song. Groban needs to be sung with someone with a powerful voice and this girl's voice was dreadful.

Another interesting audition was Brandy who believes she is a great singer. She sings "Like A Virgin" which probably describes her very well. Simon's response of "rotten" said it all. She feels that she could sing better on the carpet than on the wood floor. I can't even remember what she sung on the carpet but it was definitely just as bad, it not worse than the singing on the wood.
So, that was Birmingham. I think 20 singers got the golden ticket. Only 3 more episodes left of auditions before the Hollywood round ! Yipee.

Birdman Out !

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