Sherman Pore
Well, things were interesting in La La Land last night.
We had the pleasure of Olivia Newton John as a guest judge. She's doing a lot of judging between Idol and the Grease show.
But, what started off the auditions had to be the most bizarre of any audition ever. What was up with this Martique guy? Not sure why the HELL he would go with the Kevin Federline look. Not too smart on his part. He claimed he was the most exciting entertainer on earth. Okay...maybe in an S&M club ! What the hell was he doing? He was pacing around like a panther, making panther roars with clawing motions. I think this guy belongs in an institution.
I think next was a guy Sholandric Stallworth. He looked like Mr. T (less the jewelry) but instead of the mohawk, he had his hair slicked back like a vampire and he had this gigantic white teeth. It almost reminded me of that "Friends" episode with Ross and the white teeth. He sings, "If Ever Your In My Arms Again." It should have been more like "If Ever I Hear You Sing Again."
Then, the highlight of the night was Marianna. Her mom used to be an entertainer but this girl is a train wreck. First of all, what was up with her crooked mouth? Is she just getting over a bout with Bells Palsy? Secondly, she has a terrible voice. She attempted to sing "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?" The answer: You Should Go! It was sort of Cher-ish but, sort of NOT Cher-ish either. It's hard to explain. She was getting down on her knees and begging. Personally, if she was on her knees, she probably should have gone UNDER the table on her knees in Simon's direction and I still don't think that would have helped her get to Hollywood. I loved that she was crying and that her dreams came crashing down. This is a perfect example of a reality check. Now, it's time to finish up school and get a job like the rest of us. Or, she can choose to be a struggling singer the rest of her miserable life. I could care less but this audition was American Idol at its finest.
There was some good performances. I was into Brandon who was a background singer. He had a good look to him. I thought he looked like a black Juan Epstein (Welcome Back Kotter). This guy had a hell of a voice. I HATED the song he sung. I think he sang a Kenny Rogers song. Black men should NOT sing country music. He should have came out and belted a Brian McKnight song but he got the ticket to Hollywood so hopefully his song choices will improve as the competition goes on. He is a lock for the Top 24.
Alaina Alexander was decent. It was her last shot before officially giving up singing. She sang some Michael Buble song. First of all, enough with this Bubble guy. His songs seriously bore the crap out of me. Her performance was OK. Nothing mind-blowing. She's off to Hollywood but I can't see her making the Top 24 unless something miraculous happens.
But, what the hell was up with Phong? First of all, this girl comes out with teeth the size of a giraffe and has this weird obsession with Taylor Hicks. Honey...you are about the furthest thing from Taylor Hicks as they come. Phong sung "Dancing In the Streets" trying to dance like Taylor. When the performance was over, my eyes were hurting. Hopefully I didn't catch glaucoma from this girl. I HATE when people blame nerves on their poor performance. I wish they would just admit that they can't sing. Phong should be doing a duet with William Hung. Can you imagine a CD titled Phong & Hung? Or how about this tag line: ET Phong Hung.
There was one guy Brian who received a gold ticket on Season 5 and wanted to try again. Personally, he wasted his time. He got to the Hollywood round again but he's not going any further than that. He has this cheesy soft voice and a this look that irritates the hell out of me. This guy is nothing more than an off-Broadway background vocalist.
Another highlight was Sherman. The 65 year old man who just lost his wife two days earlier to cancer. I thought he did great for his age and hope his wife was watching. Everyone, please join me in a moment of silence for Sherman's late wife.
And we can NOT forget Sparkles and Darryl. They have been IN LOVE for two years since meeting at a bus stop in Compton. Sparkles was enormous and Darryl with his silver teeth looked more like a member of the Crips or Bloods. Neither could sing.
And what about the final guy, Eric. He has studied Robert Plant and Michael Jackson for 2 years for this audition. I can't remember what he sang but it was some horrific Black Sabbath song that no one has ever heard of unless they listen religiously to Black Sabbath. Then, he changes his pitch and sings a Hillary Duff song. Come on. This is just a guy wanting to get on TV. I thought it was funny the whole sketch with the Paula and Randy "How To Sing" CD but I think that whole thing was all set-up by the Idol producers.
Well, I believe we are down to one more city. We are getting close to the beginning. Until then...Birdman Out !
We had the pleasure of Olivia Newton John as a guest judge. She's doing a lot of judging between Idol and the Grease show.
But, what started off the auditions had to be the most bizarre of any audition ever. What was up with this Martique guy? Not sure why the HELL he would go with the Kevin Federline look. Not too smart on his part. He claimed he was the most exciting entertainer on earth. Okay...maybe in an S&M club ! What the hell was he doing? He was pacing around like a panther, making panther roars with clawing motions. I think this guy belongs in an institution.
I think next was a guy Sholandric Stallworth. He looked like Mr. T (less the jewelry) but instead of the mohawk, he had his hair slicked back like a vampire and he had this gigantic white teeth. It almost reminded me of that "Friends" episode with Ross and the white teeth. He sings, "If Ever Your In My Arms Again." It should have been more like "If Ever I Hear You Sing Again."
Then, the highlight of the night was Marianna. Her mom used to be an entertainer but this girl is a train wreck. First of all, what was up with her crooked mouth? Is she just getting over a bout with Bells Palsy? Secondly, she has a terrible voice. She attempted to sing "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?" The answer: You Should Go! It was sort of Cher-ish but, sort of NOT Cher-ish either. It's hard to explain. She was getting down on her knees and begging. Personally, if she was on her knees, she probably should have gone UNDER the table on her knees in Simon's direction and I still don't think that would have helped her get to Hollywood. I loved that she was crying and that her dreams came crashing down. This is a perfect example of a reality check. Now, it's time to finish up school and get a job like the rest of us. Or, she can choose to be a struggling singer the rest of her miserable life. I could care less but this audition was American Idol at its finest.
There was some good performances. I was into Brandon who was a background singer. He had a good look to him. I thought he looked like a black Juan Epstein (Welcome Back Kotter). This guy had a hell of a voice. I HATED the song he sung. I think he sang a Kenny Rogers song. Black men should NOT sing country music. He should have came out and belted a Brian McKnight song but he got the ticket to Hollywood so hopefully his song choices will improve as the competition goes on. He is a lock for the Top 24.
Alaina Alexander was decent. It was her last shot before officially giving up singing. She sang some Michael Buble song. First of all, enough with this Bubble guy. His songs seriously bore the crap out of me. Her performance was OK. Nothing mind-blowing. She's off to Hollywood but I can't see her making the Top 24 unless something miraculous happens.
But, what the hell was up with Phong? First of all, this girl comes out with teeth the size of a giraffe and has this weird obsession with Taylor Hicks. Honey...you are about the furthest thing from Taylor Hicks as they come. Phong sung "Dancing In the Streets" trying to dance like Taylor. When the performance was over, my eyes were hurting. Hopefully I didn't catch glaucoma from this girl. I HATE when people blame nerves on their poor performance. I wish they would just admit that they can't sing. Phong should be doing a duet with William Hung. Can you imagine a CD titled Phong & Hung? Or how about this tag line: ET Phong Hung.
There was one guy Brian who received a gold ticket on Season 5 and wanted to try again. Personally, he wasted his time. He got to the Hollywood round again but he's not going any further than that. He has this cheesy soft voice and a this look that irritates the hell out of me. This guy is nothing more than an off-Broadway background vocalist.
Another highlight was Sherman. The 65 year old man who just lost his wife two days earlier to cancer. I thought he did great for his age and hope his wife was watching. Everyone, please join me in a moment of silence for Sherman's late wife.
And we can NOT forget Sparkles and Darryl. They have been IN LOVE for two years since meeting at a bus stop in Compton. Sparkles was enormous and Darryl with his silver teeth looked more like a member of the Crips or Bloods. Neither could sing.
And what about the final guy, Eric. He has studied Robert Plant and Michael Jackson for 2 years for this audition. I can't remember what he sang but it was some horrific Black Sabbath song that no one has ever heard of unless they listen religiously to Black Sabbath. Then, he changes his pitch and sings a Hillary Duff song. Come on. This is just a guy wanting to get on TV. I thought it was funny the whole sketch with the Paula and Randy "How To Sing" CD but I think that whole thing was all set-up by the Idol producers.
Well, I believe we are down to one more city. We are getting close to the beginning. Until then...Birdman Out !
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